The Lobbyists have Brainwashed Hillary

Once upon a time there was a woman who wanted to change the world. One of the things she wanted to do was provide health care to every American Citizen. But it was not to be. These mean, bloated, corporate fat cats that run the HMOs didn't want their power and more importantly, their stock options taken away from them. So they sent their army down to Washington. And a great battle was joined. The lobbyists spent money....lots of money....millions of dollars to defeat her. And defeat her they did. Her followers, who controlled the House of Representatives, couldn't even get their own party to vote on the bill. And so health care reform died.

But, this was not the end. The HMO fat cats would soon exact an even greater revenge on Hillary. For you see, Hillary didn't want to quietly retire from being First Lady after her husband was no longer President. She wanted to become a Senator. Low and behold, a seat opened up in New York and the First Family moved from Arkansas. To New York. (why does the Beverly Hillbilly theme song keep popping up in my head?) And she went on a "Listening Tour." New Yorkers spoke and she listened. Or so we thought. Well, actually, she was listening. But not to New Yorkers.

For you see, elections cost money, lots of money. And so the HMO fat cats found in opening. They found a chink in her armor. They found a way to poison the idealistic mind of the new Senator. And into that chink their lobbyists pored lots of money. Thousands of dollars. Tens of thousands. HUNDREDS of thousands. And the money took root. The roots wrapped around her brain and soon squeezed out every idealistic thought this Senator once had. And replaced those thoughts with the following mantra that would soon become her campaign theme as she ran for President.

LOBBYISTS ARE REAL PEOPLE
LOBBYISTS ARE REAL PEOPLE
LOBBYISTS ARE REAL PEOPLE

When she stated that mantra last week at YearlyKos, people laughed. Why did they laugh you ask? Because fat cats aren't real people. Or I should say, people who can relate to the common person. They can't relate to the family who forgoes food so they can afford medication for little Johnny. These are people who live in 30 million dollar mansions in the sky in New York City. They throw 3 million dollar birthday parties at the Park Avenue Armory.

And so their victory was complete. They money was well spent. For you see, not only has Hillary been bought out by the HMO lobbyists. But she believes that lobbyists represent real people. People like you and me. People that are afraid that one day they may have to sell their house to pay for a costly medical procedure.

Ah yes, even now, as I stand on the roof of my apartment in Astoria and look over the East River to the Upper East Side; even now, I can hear the HMO fat cats cackling. Cackling as they gather around a marble inlaid table, drinking thier Dom Perignon. Yes, thier victory is complete. And they can sleep safely tonight, knowing that Hillary will protect thier stock options.